To Mr. Eusebius

[thehellflowers]

What exactly is going on with you...

And why do I get the feeling you might be related to my memory loss?

Comments

[thehellflowers.livejournal.com]

Mmm...

Hmm?

[pureplainpatron.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you finally got out of your depression though. It was getting rather... worrisome.

What, exactly, do you think makes me horrible? It's nice to have a reference to go on~

[thehellflowers.livejournal.com]

I needed the slap to my face...

That you play games like these.

[pureplainpatron.livejournal.com]

Yes, you did.

Heh, well, games are half the fun~

And in my defense, I DID try to talk you out of it first.

[thehellflowers.livejournal.com]

Thanks.

Not to me, Erland...

Well, I wanted it...

[pureplainpatron.livejournal.com]

Well, you do like things structured. Although I think you might be getting a sense of humor in a way...

Do you STILL want it?

[thehellflowers.livejournal.com]

How so?

Not unless you can erase the evidence of me, you, and people's memories. Which I doubt. Knowing who I am... though... feels well.

[pureplainpatron.livejournal.com]

Sarcasm, mostly.

While it's technically possible, I noticed even with just the memory blocks I put in place with you there were gaps... I really wouldn't trust myself with something like that again.

I'm glad you're finally happy, even knowing who you are and were. As you've realized though, just because you know who you were doesn't mean it defines who you are or will become.

[thehellflowers.livejournal.com]

Sarcasm, I suppose works, doesn't it?

Gaps? Care to clarify...

I hate who I am. Doesn't mean I can't be something better.

[pureplainpatron.livejournal.com]

Indeed.

You still felt a slave-like obligation to me, if subdued, and you seemed to have knowledge of the name Kirihana Kanna without being expressly told. Other, lesser things come to mind, but that's the highlights.

You're really not that bad, Vidya. Your past is just a bit screwed up due to Jigokubana.

[thehellflowers.livejournal.com]

Quite.

Strange. Why did your blocks fail?

My past is Jigokubana.

[pureplainpatron.livejournal.com]

There are hundreds of connections to each of thousands of cells in the human brain. While yours is somewhat simplified due to your constructed origins, it's still quite a mess to force change like that. About the only 'easy' way is to become like a stream child, which effectively means telling the fabric of space to do the work for you. :x

Only Jigokubana?

[thehellflowers.livejournal.com]

Ah. Should of guessed.

... You know what I mean.

[pureplainpatron.livejournal.com]

There's a REASON I didn't want to go messing around in your head. Once the machinery starts running it's a LOT harder to work on.

I thought I did, but you've surprized me on a lot of things of late, so I have to wonder.

[thehellflowers.livejournal.com]

Ah... I see...

Suprised you how?

[pureplainpatron.livejournal.com]

Besides, as you learned in the past day or so, you just wouldn't be YOU without your memories.

With what you worry about, and think about. It doesn't really seem all that important to me. I just worry when it makes you depressed like that.

[thehellflowers.livejournal.com]

No... I'd be something else.

Being a clone is depressing.

[pureplainpatron.livejournal.com]

Exactly.

So is being emotional garbage, but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy life a bit either.

Regardless, it's really nice to have you back, Vidya.

[thehellflowers.livejournal.com]

Keh. And thank you. I'll still hate you. Because I love you.

[pureplainpatron.livejournal.com]

You're very welcome, Vidya.

...quite an odd reasoning, but I can't help but feel a bit better hearing that.

[thehellflowers.livejournal.com]

Heh.

It means my heart belongs to you. And I love and hate you for that.

[pureplainpatron.livejournal.com]

Because I'm your 'master'?

[thehellflowers.livejournal.com]

Hell no. I have no master. Not anymore.

Because I FELL IN LOVE FOR YOU BETTER or worse.

[pureplainpatron.livejournal.com]

Hehe~ Well I'm somewhat happy you finally realized that... although I'm going to miss the idea of you in a maid outfit...

Mmm... As did I, as did I...

[thehellflowers.livejournal.com]

Who says I won't be in one?

Which is why I don't want you to leave.