Filtered from Erland

[thehellflowers]

So... what do you do when you want a fresh start and the one with the keys to do so won't give the choice to do so?

Comments

[keepersouha.livejournal.com]

Improvise.

[thehellflowers.livejournal.com]

Don't want to improvise. I feel like a wreck if I remember.

[keepersouha.livejournal.com]

Distract yourself from what you remember. If you keep thinking about it, it will just bother you more and more. You'll be amazed at how many things can sink to the back of the mind, if you focus on anything other than that. If it weren't possible, I'd probably be a wreck myself, as well.

[thehellflowers.livejournal.com]

That's the problem, I can't focus. All my energy has vanished, all my desire feels dead.

[keepersouha.livejournal.com]

And that is what we call "depression", a normal part of everyone's life cycle, in which all motivation and desire to do anything seems to wilt and blow away into the wind~

Of course, that's when people who aren't in depression give a swift kick to the head of the one who is.

[thehellflowers.livejournal.com]

It's not just that... Nobody wants to remember their father going to hell.

[keepersouha.livejournal.com]

And nobody would want to remember almost drowning to death. Or going insane. Or losing their entire family.

[thehellflowers.livejournal.com]

And I'd rather not deal with the fact that the man I'm possibly in love with is just going to vanish.

[keepersouha.livejournal.com]

And what of the chance that he'll return? I would think... That if he's going to be taken away, he'd want at least incentive to return.

[thehellflowers.livejournal.com]

Almost zero percent. I don't bet on anything not above 50%.

[keepersouha.livejournal.com]

So I take it that you despise chance, luck, and everything along those lines, Miss Vidya, or do you just not believe something could happen, if it's below 50%?

[thehellflowers.livejournal.com]

Former. And it's Kanna.

[keepersouha.livejournal.com]

A pity. Everything is made up of chance. Nothing is ever absolute. What were the chances of Mr. Jigokubana being literally sent to Hell, Miss Vidya?

[kanna-chan.livejournal.com]

You turn your back on things and start over. You block it out and you distract yourself and forget what everybody else says and be somebody else because it's what's good for you. You think somebody else has "the keys" but they don't, it's all you, and you have to make the concious decision to do it. Maybe it takes someone else to let you know you can, but you're the only one with the power to do it.

[thehellflowers.livejournal.com]

... Hrrrm. I get the feeling this would of been helpful had I not lost my identity and memories. I'll remember your advice in the future.

But thank you. I assume you're Kirihana Kanna, then?

[kanna-chan.livejournal.com]

Lost your identity?

Yeah, that's me.

[thehellflowers.livejournal.com]

Yes. I have absolutely no idea who I am.

So... I'd be your clone?

[kanna-chan.livejournal.com]

Well ... that is what you are. A clone of me. I should think you need a different name, though. Because really, you aren't me.

[thehellflowers.livejournal.com]

Ah... So I thought of using your name... Rude admittedly, though people keep calling me Vidya. How peculiar. How many missing blocks.

[kanna-chan.livejournal.com]

Well, it really wouldn't do to use my name -- it would confuse people, and yes it is rude sorry, and you're your own person. A lot of people did start calling you Vidya. The one before you they called Priti.

[thehellflowers.livejournal.com]

Wait... Wait... Wait... One before me?

I do apologize in that instance then.

[kanna-chan.livejournal.com]

There was one before you, probably more. The guy who created you was trying to clone me in order to do something very bad. He needed one perfect enough to strip my personality down to do it.

Maybe inventing a new name would be better, anyway. You had wanted to start over, and this way, you can.

[thehellflowers.livejournal.com]

... How peculiar. Completely unethical... but I can see the uses of such work.

... I wanted to start over... did it include wiping my memory. And Vidya sounds like a good name.

[kanna-chan.livejournal.com]

It was unethical. It was wrong. And he did horrible things to people. But he's gone, now, and gone for good. So you're not tied to him any more than you want to be.

It does. I think it's Hindu.

[thehellflowers.livejournal.com]

... I was tied to him... how disturbing.

It does, as in I did want to wipe my memory.

Ah...