To Mr. Eusebius

[thehellflowers]

What exactly is going on with you...

And why do I get the feeling you might be related to my memory loss?

Comments

[pureplainpatron.livejournal.com]

That is something that you wished to forget.

I am directly the cause of your memory loss. You constantly asked for it despite my protests. I eventually gave in.

[thehellflowers.livejournal.com]

What did I want to forget? ::Plays with hair::

And why exactly, did I demand to have my memory erased?

[pureplainpatron.livejournal.com]

Many things... everything, really.

You couldn't stand to know about your origins, or the short two weeks that encompassed your life. You felt hopeless, as if your life had no meaning.

[thehellflowers.livejournal.com]

... Why did I feel as if I had no meaning to life? Just because I'm a clone, doesn't mean I don't have the chance to surpass that...

[pureplainpatron.livejournal.com]

Heh. You sure didn't think so then.

[thehellflowers.livejournal.com]

Perhaps I wasn't of clear mind. Maybe I needed my memory to realize things about myself, perhaps? Though I don't know too much...

[pureplainpatron.livejournal.com]

Perhaps it doesn't matter since you're apparently happier this way.

[thehellflowers.livejournal.com]

No. Not really... I feel anxious... Calm, but nervous. Calm because I can't worry without prior data. Nervous because I don't know anything.

[pureplainpatron.livejournal.com]

Why would you be nervous?

[thehellflowers.livejournal.com]

Because I'm aware that I'm missing things people realize.

[pureplainpatron.livejournal.com]

And? At least you don't have to worry about anything you DO know.

[thehellflowers.livejournal.com]

I WANT TO KNOW. I WANT TO WORRY.

[pureplainpatron.livejournal.com]

...why?

[thehellflowers.livejournal.com]

Because Ignorance isn't an answer. I want. To. Know. Who. I. Am.

[pureplainpatron.livejournal.com]

Even if knowing could make you depressed again?

[thehellflowers.livejournal.com]

YES. I WANT TO KNOW WHO I AM, GODDAMNIT.

[pureplainpatron.livejournal.com]

Why should that matter? Isn't ignorance bliss?

[thehellflowers.livejournal.com]

Never, is it ignorance an answer.

[pureplainpatron.livejournal.com]

...so you want your memories back.

[thehellflowers.livejournal.com]

Of course. Cogito Ergo Sum. I THINK THEREFORE I AM. AND WITHOUT MEMORY I AM NOTHING.

[pureplainpatron.livejournal.com]

ALL of them?

[thehellflowers.livejournal.com]

I AM NOT ME WITHOUT THEM.

[pureplainpatron.livejournal.com]

...I'm glad we agree.

::Bampfs mental blocks away~ Memories of the past day or so would, of course, be intact still.::

[thehellflowers.livejournal.com]

... I hate you, Erland.

[pureplainpatron.livejournal.com]

Oh? Obviously your memory has returned~